I CAN'T STOP CONTROLLING EVERYTHING!

What is it about life that just makes some of us think we have any say or power in what happens to us? I think it is determination. As long as there is still a breath in my body I will try and create a better life or circumstances for myself. I just can't help it. Every time I say I am going to stop being controlling I just end up being even more obsessive and determined to succeed then before.

I have done many changes to my manuscript. I am constantly pushing myself to edit more and believe it or not...I am driving myself absolutely crazy. My body screams, ''enough already!'', while my brain just pushes on and says ''just one more chapter...just one more''. Talk about being conflicted.

I know that in the end it won't matter how fast I complete this manuscript. The result will be the same. I just have to learn to pace myself. I am surprised with my own enthusiasm to start submitting. I never wanted to submit my work before but suddenly as the manuscript is taking shape and no longer looking like gibberish, I have this compulsive urge to submit my manuscript.

But I have to force myself to be calm and focus on the job at hand. I have to finish editing my manuscript. I now understand why some writers hate editing. It takes forever to do and then you still have to go make the changes on the computer. But it is all necessary, I know. I think the trick to editing is taking long regular breaks. When you get to the stage where your shoulders ache or your butt has fallen asleep then it is definitely time for a break.