CRASH AND BURN

As my post title suggest, my computer crashed last night and apparently my CPU is fried. This would be the second time that my computer has crashed in two months. Either I am doing something wrong or my current work in progress is so hot that it fried my CPU. Now I have to use my brothers computer, which I hate because he tends to read over my shoulder as I type. It is extremely annoying. I can't write love scenes with him sitting right there. It's awkward!

I have been avoiding blogging intentionally. I had used my time allocated for blogging for my current work in progress. I don't know why but I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately and the only way I could de-stress was writing, so I did plenty of that and it worked. I feel better and I made a lot of progress.

My brother has started to read my novel and he has already mentioned a few (Tons) of things that bother him. My brother is very technical, he edits scientific publications, so the grammar and my use of tenses are the biggest problem for him at the moment. He even said that my first few chapters do nothing to make him want to read further. See! I told you he would not be doing me any favors. In my house honesty is very important.

I will be lying if I say I don't feel gutted but I knew he would be brutal. As an aspiring writer I tend to be very naive and expect praises and compliments for my hard work, when in reality I love my work so much that I can't always see all its faults. So when others give their honest opinions I feel as if my world is ending, but I know criticism is a very vital step. We need criticism. It teaches us how to deal with it and it gives us the necessary information to improve that work we love, so that we can bring it to the state where others can love it too.

QUICK POST

Finally finished editing my 6TH draft. I even finished both synopsis (long and short) and rewrote my query letters.

My big brother has agreed to read my final draft and give his input and no, he will not be doing me any favors. He is very technical and he will literally take my novel apart if it is full of errors. So I am pretty scared for the possible problems he might find. I can easily see myself having a 7TH or even 8Th draft of this book after he is done.

But all in all I made my deadline with 8 days to spare. Yay me! How did I do it? Well I pulled an all nighter last night and I got up early this morning and at 17:30 I was done.

WELCOME AND THANK YOU!

Welcome Beth and thank you for joining my blog. I hope you find at least a few posts interesting.

I am feeling very grateful tonight, so I would like to thank everyone of my followers (new and old) for signing up to follow my blog. I truly appreciate the gesture a lot. I hope that at least some of my post will be interesting and hopefully entertaining to all of you.

Thank you so much again everyone and Welcome to my crazy life!

PROGRESS REPORT

Welcome John!. Thanks for following my blog. If you like, you could leave the link to your blog in my comment box and I can follow your blog as well.

I started resuming my editing duties last night and I finished two chapters. I am on page 240 now and only 258 pages to go. I am feeling really positive at the moment. I actually enjoyed reading through my manuscript again and cutting scenes. Perhaps it is the little devil in me that has developed a love for the delete button because I don't normally like deleting stuff.

I even started writing down a few ideas for the hook in my query letter. I am sure there is one amongst the bunch that I can use. The synopses? I am leaving that for last. I can't seem to make up my mind if I want to keep it as is or really just gut the whole thing and start over. Decisions...Decisions.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

No Valentine's day post, sorry. I believe in love but I made peace that it is just not meant for me. If it was then there should have been a sign of some future prospects, but no.

Anyway, I have finally decided to stop hiding from my first novel and finish editing it (yet again). I feel so confident about my potential progress that I have decided to try and write a new synopsis and query letter to go along with my new version of the manuscript.

I gave myself till the end of February to finish the editing. It is not as unrealistic as it seems. I can do it. After all, what is the point of writing the book and editing it, to the point that I have 6 different versions, and then just give up on it because of a little case of self-doubt? I have put everything into this novel and then I just want to give up? What was I thinking!

I know I said it before but I feel good about this version of the manuscript. I am making it a lot tighter and I think it reads better. This will be my final query version of this book. I am going to query as many agents as I can and after I queried everyone and I still don't get an offer of representation, then it will be time for me to put this book away and consider querying another book. I don't want to do it because it was the first novel of a planned series, but I will do it for the sake of progress. Sometimes one just has to let go.

But that is still a long way off and I feel I might get some form of interest with this version (yes, I am delusional but lets pretend I'm not). That is basically my plan for February. Will I make it or will I miss yet another personal deadline?

I am definitely pushing myself to make it. I want to do it and I need to do it for my own sanity.

Page 99

This is my page 99 that I submitted to Page99test.com.

I clenched my teeth together in response.
He let his index finger slowly run down my cheek.
‘’I am not that drunk’’ I said.
Alex and I both laughed at my honesty. Alex was becoming a bit too friendly.
‘’I just didn’t want you to vomit in your hair’’ he teased.
I was still aware of what I was saying and what was being said between Alex and me, but I was not fully in control of what words came out of my mouth.
Alex seemed to be flirting with me and apparently I was playing along. I seemed to be a very talkative drunk.
‘’What kind of man are you, that you allowed me to get this drunk? If I didn’t know any better, I would say you did it on purpose’’ I said, running my fingers through his hair.
Alex didn’t seem to mind that I was rearranging his hair. In fact he seemed to like me this talkative and flirty.
‘’What if I did get you this drunk on purpose?’’ Alex teased.
He was staring at me as if though he found me amusing.
Suddenly the whole atmosphere changed when Richard showed up at our table, this time with a friend.

IS THAT NORMAL?

Welcome Misha! Thank you for following my blog. You made my crazy day exciting.

I am hiding from my first novel. Why? Well, I realized that I have 6 drafts (only 3 are printed out) of my first novel. Is that normal? I don't think so. I keep rewriting and then editing it. And after page 200 I stopped reading. Because once again I started changing it. I refuse to have a 7Th draft. At what point will I stop? The scary thing is that I don't know!

I was considering having my brother read my book. I never let him read it before because he is super critical. As part of his job he has to review scientific articles and let me tell you...After he is done the pages look as if it has been colored in by a two year old. He can find a error amongst thousands of words. Why use him you ask? Because if I can get him to like my work then I know I have some talent. And trust me, he won't spare my feelings. He used to edit my assignments for college and he always made me redo them at least twice. Only problem is that he might see me differently. Let's just say some of the content is a bit too graphic for his liking.

Just out of curiosity, how many drafts do you have of your novel? Do you perhaps have more than 6?

OVER THE RAINBOW

Welcome Shelly and thank you for joining my blog. It does my confidence a world of good. Much appreciated.

I am really happy writing wise. I am getting a few good ideas for my current writing project and I am surprised with how far I allowed myself to think out of the box. I forced myself to think past my conservative nature and just let loose. I am also making a lot more friends, which I am very happy about.

I also posted my page 99 on http://page99test.com/. I got back one review and the lady said she would turn the page, meaning she would like to read more. Basically how it works: your page 99 is posted anonymously and people can comment. Only after they have left you a comment can they see details like the name of your novel or whether you are published or not. I feel really bad because they give you the option to read someone else's page 99 and I didn't like one and voted ''will not turn the page'', only to find out that the author was already published. So I stopped reading other page 99's. I wouldn't like it if people kept telling me they wouldn't turn the page.

Everyday I am inspired by the posts of other bloggers and I just can't help but feel hopeful. I can't help but wake up in the morning with the crazy passion to write.

SO NOT READY FOR ROUND TWO

I am extremely nervous at the moment. Why you ask? Well, I am starting another new job (yes it too is temporary) tomorrow. But...it is the same job I did last year, at exactly the same company. Anyway, I will be helping out in the wine cellar during the harvest time.

That's not so bad you say? Well it gets really crazy and hectic and I will be working with a lot of the same people, but that could be a challenge. Only difference this time is that there is a new winemaker as well as assistant winemaker. What makes that bad is that winemakers have diva mentalities and last years winemaker really got to me. She made my 5 months at the cellar absolute hell.

So now I guess you could say I am going in for round two. Which I don't feel ready for. I already got a heads up from someone telling me that it is absolutely chaotic there. Last year I was still working on the editing of my first novel and I had been so tired from running around the whole day that for the 5 months I worked there, I didn't do much writing or editing. And you know what the funny part is? I am still working on making my first novel the best that it can be. I just hope I don't neglect it the way I did last year.

I guess I am afraid of my extreme emotional state affecting my writing. It is the one thing I do that allows me to feel as if the harsh reality of the world can't touch me. When I am in my fantasy world I make people come alive. I can have my characters do what I myself can't or let them live the lives most of us can only dream of.

HOME SWEET HOME

Yes, you guessed it. I am back from my holiday and to be quite honest, I feel even more tired now then when I first left. I will need a holiday from my holiday. Just joking.

Welcome and thank you to Arlee Bird, Lisa Potts and Jeffrey Beesler for following my blog. It is nice to make new friends and it makes me smile uncontrollably. Thank you.

Holiday was ok, but I missed everything about my hometown. Living by the beach is just not for me ( I am crazy, I know!), but after day two I was ready to come home. I didn't do anything besides eat, sleep and go for an occasional walk. I couldn't write there at all. I did write something...an erotica styled scene, which is useless seeing that I don't write erotica.

But as I walked into my house inspiration struck and here I am at the computer. I have a few ideas I want to get down.

I hope all was well with everybody.