BOOK RECOMENDATION

I recently bought myself this book, The Only Grammar book you'll ever need by Susan Thurman, from the writersdigest.com and I must say I am pretty happy with it. It told me everything I wanted to know, so I can use it as a quick reference from now on. Every time I am unsure of something, I can just go look it up. I am definitely not memorising everything.

For those who might want to know, it is a paperback with 184 pages and it addresses every writing dilemma imaginable.

WORD COUNT

I am feeling so confused. I did some research on the Internet for submission requirements, just for research. I am not close to submission quality yet. Anyway, I am so screwed when it comes to word counts. Each agent wants a different word count. I currently have a word count of 148 000 words (according to Microsoft word) that gives me 385 pages with double sided print and double spaced lines. Now that can't be right. I write paranormal romance at the moment. But I didn't intend for it to go the romance route, it just ended up like that. Please, don't judge me people. Immortals need love too.

The reason I feel confused is that all the submission requirements asks you for maximum 100 000 words. So, now I have to either split the manuscript in two and make it 2 separate books or reduce my manuscript size drastically (I don't like this option). And for those of you who read paranormal romance, you will notice that those ladies who write in that genre, have far more pages then me. So obviously their word count has to be higher then mine too, right? Is it because they are already published authors that their works can be longer or is there just some simpler answer and I am just being a moron?

I hate to bring her up again, but lets take Stephenie Meyers debut novel, Twilight as an example. Nobody knew her then, but her first book gets to have something like 478 pages, after her editor reduced the final word count. Meaning, she submitted an even bulkier manuscript with a very high word count and still... she got published (it got picked out of the slush pile by the way). No disrespect intended.

I already know if I submit my novel as thick as it is now, I will get rejected on word count alone. So what is a girl to do?

SOME ARE JUST BORNE TO WRITE

I don't know if I am a talented writer. I know that no matter how long I have written or how long I am still goint to write, that I will never know everything. But, I love what I do and when I write, I feel happy and I feel like I am doing what I was meant to do.

I started writing when I was ten. At first it was song lyrics, then poetry, then lyrics again, followed by short stories... the list goes on and on. My point being that I have always written. I wont even count the crap I wrote when I was younger (4-9 years old), I will just write that stuff off.

Why are you telling us this you boring, odd, short woman? Well, when I was 18, I threw all of my work that I have ever written away, as I went to college to pursue a more serious life. I never considered becoming a writer. And to this day, I regret throwing everything away and turning my back on my writing. I regret not deciding to be a writer from the start. I could have saved myself 4 years of torture and my family a lot of money.

What I am trying to say is that those of us who choose to write, are blessed. Because we have a unique way to better the quality of our lives. We can escape to worlds that may only exist in our imagination but we bring those worlds to life, by the ink of a pen, the lead of a pencil or just by typing on a keyboard. We are just borne to write. As simple as that. It doesn't matter if you don't think you are good. Just write.

You are probalby thinking '' What are you talking about you moron, you haven't even submitted your first manuscript yet''. I have not submitted any of my works for submission yet and I don't know what it feels like to have that piece of paper in your hand that notifies you that your project has been rejected. But I know what rejection feels like. I had people laugh in my face and just out right humiliate me while I applied for job after job and getting rejected each time. For two years I struggled to become employed and to this day, I am still doing part time jobs. So, I will probably have to go through the embarrassing part of asking (begging) for a job again soon. Meaning, I know rejection and I decided not to give up, to push through. My brother always says ''Nothing worth having is ever easy''.

If writing makes you happy, then please don't stop. No matter how many rejection letters you get or how bad the comments are. Keep writing. Don't give up on something that makes you happy. I will regret those 4 years I lost till the day I die, no matter how many manuscripts I write in the years after.

I just wanted to provide some motivation to all those writers who might be thinking of giving up. Sorry if I came across as depressing, instead.

CHANGES

OK. I am back to counting my calories and exercising again. I feel better and I have noticed my energy levels increase as well. I know you don't really care about my daily diet and energy levels but I have a point, honest.

I have noticed that my level of creativity is dependent on my diet and lifestyle. If I don't eat the right foods or if I don't exercise, my creativity suffers. Today I thought of a way to change my first 3 chapters, all while sitting at my desk, waiting for the phone to ring. Is it a coincidence that my creativity level increased just as I had eliminated certain foods out of my diet? I think not.

I have been going to bed really early these few days and it didn't do anything but make me grumpy. It might sound strange, but I think I do better with less sleep. I think I could get away with only 7-6 hours of sleep. Hell, if it helps my writing why not? I would probably get up to write in the middle of the night if it wasn't so damn cold at the moment. Winter use to be my favourite season, well not this year.

You can do with some weight loss!

One of my colleagues asked me to go on the soup diet with her today. She thinks that I could do with the weight loss, especially after she found out my sister is a chef and mentioned that she could see that my sister is a chef, because I look as if everything I eat is still stuck to my body. I know I can benefit from losing a few kilos, but I will do it on my own terms. I have already started with a complete lifestyle change in September last year. And it is not like all I do is eat. Yes, I will eat some junk food every now and then, but it is not like all I do the whole day is over eat.

Anyway, everyday she starts off our day with more weight remarks and I can't ignore her because my desk is right next to hers. Maybe I am too sensitive but I think that there is something wrong with my human chemistry or something. I keep on pulling all the mean people to me and I don't want to keep saying that I am not a peoples person because that makes me sound like a complete freak of nature.

Honestly, I do struggle with my weight, but I am doing something about it. I already made peace with the fact that I wont lose all the weight fast. It will take time and I would rather make sure the weight stays off instead of picking every kilo back up after a week. Usually my writing is my coping mechanism, but I haven't been doing much of that lately, which probably explains my horrid mood.

LET THERE BE MUSIC!

I have finally found a way to write good romantic scenes. Music! If I listen to great music, it sort of gets me in the right state of mind and it inspires me to write great love scenes. The music helps my mind to drift and allows me to think from my characters point of view.

However, my idea of great inspirational/romantic music might differ from what everybody else might deem appropriate, but it works for me. Some of my favourites are:

Eyes on fire-Blue Foundation

A Case of you-Joni Mitchell

Never think-Robert Pattinson

My Love-Sia

Broken-Seether

These are just a few of the songs in my play list, but I love them and whenever I hear them, scenes just play out in my mind and they practically write themselves.

NEXT PROJECT, ALREADY?

I just had the greatest plate of Carbonara pasta. I made it myself. I am becoming a rather talented cook, if I must say so myself. But I also had to do the dishes, a lot of them.

Anyway, I am starting with the outline for my third potential novel. I just have to write everything down, so that it can get out of my head. I am still editing the first one and should still finish the second, but this story is haunting me. So, I am going to grab a book, a pen and plant myself in front of the fireplace and just let my ideas flow unto the paper.