SLOWLY BUT SURELY

I am making progress. I started with the editing of my first manuscript. It is going a bit slow. My job makes me feel tired mentally and physically, so I don't really do a lot of writing or editing during the week. So much for my new writing schedule. Besides updating my posts, I have not written anything in a while, which has me worried.

Me not being able to write is driving me insane. I am suffering from a lack of sleep, yet again. Not that I could sleep at all before. I feel sad and I just don't seem to have any energy at all. Instead of adapting to working and writing, I am mostly just working. I don't seem to have much time for anything else.

But I am hoping to get a lot done this weekend. My family life is still strenuous, but we try to tolerate each other as best we can.

CRAZY DAY

Today was one hell of a day. Everything that could have gone wrong at work, went wrong. Things were crazy and I was really busy. People were complaining about me not answering the phone fast enough and people were mean and I got a lot of attitude. There was just so much stuff going on at once that I am still feeling stressed.

I have a constant headache and after three weeks of working there, I have decided I don't like my job or working with people. But I will keep working as the temporary receptionist. After all it is a job and it is an income. The whole point of being an adult is making sacrifices, right? So what if I am not happy? At least I have an income and I am employed.

WEIRD NEW HOBBY

I have a strange obsession with trees. Oak trees especially. The place where I work has a beautiful garden with some of the most beautiful trees and scenery ever. So, I like to go outside in my lunchtime and take pictures of the trees, flowers and just what ever I find beautiful.

It sounds weird doesn't it? Even the people at work think I am crazy. One man actually asked me what I was doing. Is it really that crazy to say you like trees? If it is I don't care. They make me happy and they make me feel inspired.

I just love how the trees looks during winter. They look rather dramatic.

STORYTELLERS

As you know I recently blogged about needing to read some good books, after I kept choosing horrible ones. So, I went back to my rather unimpressive stack of books and noticed a pattern of sorts.

All my books were written by authors who are very good, even brilliant storytellers. Which explains why I only read the books of the select few authors I actually do like. Not all authors are very good storytellers, so when I find one I do like, I stick to their work. I don't care how fancy their writing techniques are or how broad their vocabulary is, if an author can't make me enjoy what I am reading then I won't read that authors book. This might sound simple to you but to me it's a revelation!

So I can see how most of us aspiring writers can get confused. We all want to be good writers, but how do we determine if we are good or not? Publishers? Agents? Are they really the ones to tell us if we are good or not? I don't think so. Because remember, they only go with authors who they feel will make them the most money or which project they personally feel more comfortable with. It is almost like a lucky draw. Just because you get turned down doesn't make you a bad writer. It just means you don't fit into their marketing strategy.

Now, my point. You can be a writer who makes a few grammar mistakes, but knows how to tell a story. The one who has readers hooked by the first paragraph and forces that reader to try and finish your book as fast as possible, because they want to know how your books ends. Or you can be the the writer who has perfect grammar and spelling. The writer who follows all the rules of writing to a T. But who doesn't really hook the writer. You go for audiences who want to feel intelligent and who will brag with the fact that they read your book. But did they live themselves into your story. Did they feel and understand the conflicts your characters faced? Did they feel themselves get excited when a big scene of conflict arose? I suppose a select few do both. Have great story telling abilities and great grammar, writing techniques and all that other stuff, but most don't.

No? To me a good storyteller is the most essential thing. I want to escape. I want to live in the world you created. I want to sympathize with your characters. I want to believe in the impossible. If you can achieve that then to me you are a good, even a great writer. And through personal experience I have noticed that not all published authors are good storytellers.

What does it boil down to? If you can't tell a good story, I don't read your work. Life is hard enough. I don't need a dictionary to decipher a book and I wont force myself to read a book I don't enjoy. I don't care how stupid that makes me sound. I studied for 19 years of my 24 year old life. I am finished with trying to be smart. I am all about reading for enjoyment.

IN NEED OF SOME GOOD READING MATERIAL

I am in need of some good reading material. I need some fantasy to escape. I am rather a creature of habit. When I like certain authors then I will only read their books. But now I am in need of new authors to read and books to enjoy.

Only problem is that our local library is not very well stocked and most of the bookshops are very expensive. I don't mind paying a lot of money for a good book. But one mistake I usually make is that after I bought a book, it doesn't read as well as it did in the shop and I don't seem able to get past the first three chapters. I suppose you can say I am a fussy reader. If I don't like a certain writing style or the voice in which the author writes, I won't the finish a book no matter how much I paid for it.

I never read a lot in the bookshops because of the way the clerks always glare at you but next time I will simply just not give a damn. Because there is no way I am spending another dime on a book that sucks.

BAD HAIR DAY

I had a very bad hair day. I looked like a crazy person. My hair simply just had a mind of it's own. I got a professional flatiron for Christmas to tame my naturally curly hair and today of all days not even the flatiron could do it's job.

My hair smells burnt, nothing like shampoo and conditioner. I felt very self-conscious. What made it worse was the way everyone stared. Luckily I found a rubber band in my bag and tied the whole mess back. If only I could have used the paper clips as a way to manage the fly aways.

When anger is connected to your tear ducts

I am embarrassed to admit it but it seems my anger is connected to my tear ducts. My brother shouted at me in public a few days ago and I felt upset and after a few minutes, when the event played back in my mind and I became even more infuriated, did I notice tears welling up in my eyes.

I usually don't cry easily, but my family members, my brother especially has a way of making you feel very small and insignificant. My unimpressive employment history makes it even easier to hit a sore spot. But most importantly, my brother is the kind of guy you don't show any form of weakness, because he is the type that can eat you alive and at that moment the tears could not be helped.

We are still not talking to each other. The whole house has a weird vibe and my brother does not seem to act as if he did anything wrong. I refuse to talk to him if that is going to be his attitude towards me. I might be an underachiever, but I am a human being dammit and just because he is my brother doesn't mean he can treat me like shit.