OVERLOAD

My brother is renovating his room and seeing that my room is the closest to his, his storing most of his stuff in my room. I don't mind at all. But the past week has been a mentally draining and physically tiring week. I just feel like my senses are suffering a overload.

Yesterday I had another one of my migraines. None of my medication helped but the good news is that I don't have a migraine right now. Because of the past week and yesterday's headache I haven't resumed my normal writing routine. My ''wanna be'' historical romance is just lying there unfinished, taunting me as if saying ''yep, knew you couldn't stick it out, sucker''. It is smiling an evil smile and laughing it's evil laugh.

I am still capturing data for my previous company. I have a lot of stuff just floating around in my head and it is not the kind of stuff I want to be thinking of. I think it is somehow blocking my creativity. I haven't thought of a single scene in a week. Maybe it is because the couple finally had sex and now all the mystery and previous built up tension is gone (sounds like real life) and now I can't seem to get them to work together.

I will resume the de-bulking of my first manuscript on Thursday. I am forcing myself to get into the editing mode. Must edit...must sleep...must...goodnight.

FAMILY REUNION UPDATE

The family reunion is finally over and the last guests had left 30 minutes ago. I met some nice members of the family (who didn't know me at all) but I also met a few that I wouldn't mind not ever seeing again. The kind of people that make you wish that alcohol was never discovered.

It was a good idea my mom had, to reaquint us with more relatives from her side. Honestly, we (I really mean me) don't really know most of my moms relatives, I don't know why that is but we just never met before or at least I never met them before. Everybody seemed to know my other siblings and in all fairness my siblings are a bit older than me. I am what we call '' 'n laat lammetjie'' which basically means there is a big age gap between me and the sibling born before me. So I suppose it makes sense that the others are known and I am the one everybody keeps inquiring about a bit too loudly, for example ''Who is this girl?''

The age old saying has been truly tried and proven today, '' You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family''.

Today I found out how big of a leap I am truly taking with trying to become a published writer. My goals really seem like unrealistic dreams at this point. I am writing novels that probably nobody will ever read and sending away query letter to agents overseas when people like my moms family are trying to just make ends meet or are trying their dire best to avoid the evils of the world but losing the battle each time. At some point I considered that we might truly be from two different worlds. It was scary to see how much our priorities differ. And now I can see that I truly live in a dream world.

OH BOY

Christmas carols are blasting at full volume, cookies baking in the oven and my sister dancing with a smile on her face, probably for the first time this whole year.

Yep, you might have guessed it. My family is preparing for Christmas. My one sister is a bit of a sour puss and she only comes alive for one month of the year and that is December. She loves Christmas. Me, I respect the holiday and it's traditions. But I don't get that overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness the way I did when I was a child. I wish I had my sisters enthusiasm about the whole concept of the festive season but I don't know...It just feels as if though something is missing. As if something perhaps died in me or is broken.

We have a family reunion coming up this weekend. My moms idea. We get to meet the other side of my moms family who we never see or know anything about. It should be interesting. I will let you know how it went.

Operation house cleaning is on the way. I am missing most of it because of the new temporary data capturing job I have. Yeah! But I am sure my mom will find something for me to do.

I have not done any writing since this weekend. No editing either. I am falling behind. Oh well. Life goes on.

So back to real life and my sister singing along to her favorite Christmas Carols at the top of her mighty lungs. Might I add, she has a strong voice for such a skinny person.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

Who would have thought that I would be making an attempt to write a historical romance novel. Yes people, I am putting it out there, I have begun doing my research and even wrote (as in pen and paper) a few scenes.

I am not romantic myself, which is probably why everybody laughs to my face when I tell them that my writing has a strong romantic theme intertwined with action and drama. I love the guts and gore but I also like the idea of having a guy through me over his shoulder for misbehaving. My sister thinks that idea is just barbaric, but there is just something about a strong man putting me in my place that I like. I guess because I am such a tomboy I find it hard to find guys who can handle me.

So yes, it will focus on the more romantic side of things and believe it or not, it makes me nervous. I am not comfortable writing love scenes. I am working on not blushing as I write it, but hell I just can't help it. The way I was raised it was not appropriate to talk about sex openly (at least not in my family). So here I am, trying to figure out when my characters will be having sex and how exactly I want their first encounter to be. Damn it! I am blushing already. (Big smile).

I am leaning towards the more erotic side. Just for the hell of it. I am breaking out of my own comfort zone so I might as well do it properly and take things as far as I can. I am still such a chicken shit that I won't tell my family about the details of this project. I don't want them praying for my soul just yet. Luckily for me they don't read my blog.  (Wink-Wink).

NOT SO FAST

I have prepared myself for a series of chores and re-editing of my first manuscript, seeing that I am once again unemployed. But all is not as it seems, at least not anymore. I got a phone call on Friday from the company I used to work for, asking me if I wouldn't mind capturing some data for them, which of course I agreed to do.

It will only be for a week (maximum). So I had to put away the first manuscript for later, or at least till I have more time to get rid of some scenes to make it a more reasonable size. My first thought was that ''hey, how hard can it be to scale down my manuscript? This is going to be easy''. How wrong I was. I can't just end it at an earlier chapter, I have to end it as originally planned. The flow is just not right if I end it earlier. But what I have to do is take out unnecessary sentences and narrative. Even scenes and characters that don't make a significant contribution toward the quality of my manuscript.

I have to come up with another plan on how I am going to edit the first manuscript, while still doing research for the third novel and fitting in traditional house cleaning chores in preparation for Christmas. I will figure everything out. If I have to wait till next year to send out more queries, so be it.

PERFECT PAIR OF JEANS

My day started off good. I got about 2 hours of writing done before me, my mom and sister had to go do our weekly grocery shopping. Then my mom reminded me that I still have to do my yearly jeans shopping. I didn't forget, I intentionally put it off till a later date. Every year I go buy myself a few pairs of jeans. Because I am a jeans and t-shirt girl my jeans take a lot of abuse the whole year long. Hence the yearly jeans buying tradition.

So there I was, on the prowl for a pair of flattering jeans in my size. I found a few and when I went to fit them on...Let me tell you, nothing ruins a woman's day like a failed shopping attempt. The first few didn't fit at all, the others were not flattering and then the last pair were just wrong on so many levels. 

I walked away feeling dejected. So I went to the plus size woman store. I avoid shopping here because the size might be right but the cut of the jeans aren't. So I went into two different plus size stores and found three pairs of jeans that fit perfectly and who were flattering. So I cheered up soon after.

So today I realized that  finding balance in life as well as happiness is like finding a perfect pair of jeans. The end goal might seem impossible when things don't go my way, but if I really know what I want and I keep at it, I might just find what I am looking for. Or even achieve the end goal I was striving for.

APOLOGY TO LYNETTE BENTON

I would like to apologize to Lynette Benton for the confusion regarding a post of mine being posted to twitter. She has left a comment on her website saying that she had tried to contact me in the past but was unsuccessful. Her only intention was to help me, an aspiring writer out and send more aspiring writers to my blog.

I was a little hasty with expecting the worst and I am a big enough person to apologize for my lack of judgement.

I have done some research and I noticed that she gives very good advice for aspiring writers, so if you are interested you can check her website out here http://lynettebentonwriting.com/

But for the future people, please note that I do not handle surprises well at all. So please let me know before posting any of my material anywhere.