SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW AND NOTHING BORROWED

SOMETHING OLD
Had a horrific day at work today. I have never been so close to tears of anger as I have been today. I think I was more upset with the fact that I am not allowed to retaliate or defend myself when potential students or their parents are rude to me, but I should just have said my say and have had them fire me. I think I would have been happier but that would probably look bad on my CV, seeing that I wouldn't be able to use them as a reference.

SOMETHING NEW
Anyway, I finally finished the 2011 Guide to Literary Agents and it was a wonderful and insightful book, not to mention very helpful, seeing that I get tons of New Agencies I can possibly query. So I would recommend it to anyone who needs more help with their writing or who needs a more detailed lay out of how things work in the world of publishing. I will definitely do a bit more research and tweak my manuscript before querying again. I also read about agent pet peeves and I am guilty of a few things, for example:

Starting a scene with someone waking up from the sound of the alarm clock.

Having a bit too much narrative which tends to make the novel read slowly.

Not having a good balance between showing and telling.

Repetitive words or sentences. (Big problem for me).

Too much pointless dialogue.

NOTHING BORROWED
As you see I picked up quite a lot of things. I also rewrote my whole first chapter and it is almost just as terrible as my original first chapter. I also decided to rewrite my query letter and synopsis. I am definitely doing something wrong (besides that my first chapter sucks). Because there were a few agencies who just wanted a query letter, no synopsis or sample pages allowed and I wasn't even requested to provide a synopsis or anything afterward. So I am thinking that maybe my query letter isn't polite or professional enough. Apparently agents like queries where one's personality shines through and perhaps I give off the vibe that I don't have one or perhaps I come across as being too dull.

Anyway, I talk to much. Have a wonderful day and best of luck with which endeavours you attempt.

JUST A THOUGHT

The night air is warm but tolerable. The sun has faded and all that can be seen is the lights in the black sky. I sigh in relief, thankful that the night has come. For there is a comforting quiet all around. I feel as if I can hear the very breath of nature. She sounds content.
I suddenly hear the sounds of crickets and even they sound happy. As if they know something I do not. I smile, for I do enjoy this simple pleasure of natures company. Even though I feel it, I am never really alone. Nature is always around, blessing me with it's presence. For that, I am thankful.

Just a thought I had.

I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!

My pity party is finally over. Whew! I decided to pull myself together. Actually, when I woke up this morning I didn't feel as if the veil of gloom was hanging over me. I felt refreshed and ready to go.

I was so upset last night that when I sat down to write my horror scene, I ended up writing about something completely different and I finished 2 chapters.

My day at work was also better. I worked with two other ladies and they were a lot more helpful and we just worked well together. They didn't allow me to feel overwhelmed or stressed. My prayers were answered.

So back to reality.

THE HITS JUST KEEP ON COMING!

As I was driving to and from work today, people kept on trying to kill me. Seriously! This one guy cuts in in front of me just as I was preparing to take my turn off and as I was driving home a truck almost drives over me, because I didn't feel like driving in front of oncoming traffic. There were far to many cars speeding and I didn't want to end up killed.

Speaking of killed. My one cousin (from my moms side) lost her husband in a car crash yesterday. A truck smashed into his car. He was a sweet man.

To top everything off, I felt like a complete moron today. I didn't know what was going on most of the time and I kept messing stuff up. When I got to work this morning everyone was bombarding me with questions I didn't know any of the damn answers too!

I am so angry with myself right now. Why couldn't I have chosen a better degree program? How the hell did I get to be so damn low down the career ladder?

I think I am going to go write a horror scene now. One where I go to work with a chainsaw and hack everyone to pieces slowly (big smile). Yep, sounds like a damn fine plan to me.

WARNING! PITY PARTY AHEAD!!

Did you ever feel as if you are drowning in negativity? As if there is a heavy weight on your heart and you struggle to breath? You are trying to recover from one blow and then another hits you from behind, when you least expect it. Then there's the adding to an already heavy load.

That's me today. If you are having a similar day to mine then I advise you not to read further because I am feeling damn sorry for myself.

I went to the College, where I am suppose to start work tomorrow, and if you are anything like my mother you can probably guess that I didn't like it. It just doesn't feel right. The whole experience feels like a big punch to the gut. Not to mention the way people keep referring to me as the new temporary girl.

I went to church yesterday and the people there made me feel unwelcome and I felt awkward. I have been going to the same church since I was born and I will admit I don't go to church regularly but it doesn't mean I don't have faith. I believe in God and a power much greater than myself. I feel closer to God on my own than I do in my church. I know a lot of you will hate me for saying that.

I just have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have had it since the beginning of the new year and I just can't shake it. Every time something awful happens to me I feel like it is the end of the world and I know it is not. It just feels like it.

I got two more rejection letters. No surprise there. I got this weird feeling last week. The little voice in my head said ''Send away a few more queries. Do it. Do It!'' And hell, I did it, with disastrous results. The rejections didn't really get me down but the time they arrived I was already having a lot of personal problems and it just broke me.

I am not writing anymore. I am at a blank wall. I truly feel as if I am just drowning at the moment. I am making everyone around me miserable.

I am doubting my talent as a writer too. I just feel like a wanna-be at the moment. My brother bought me, The Guide to Literary Agents 2011 and The Writers Market 2011 for my birthday. He really wants me to succeed and my whole family is really supportive now. Their support is coming at a time when I am at my least creative and when I am having the most doubt about my writing and the fact if I have any talent at all. Ironic.

I LOVE DAYS LIKE THESE

Today was a very special day for me and I enjoyed it even more because I spent it with my wonderful family. They do give me a lot of crap and they do drive me crazy but they are always there for me when it counts. Not to mention that they are always ready and willing to pick up the pieces when I fall apart.

I feel really blessed and I am ashamed to say that I do at times take them for granted.

I am also starting a new job on Tuesday. I will be working at a college, at the bursary department. I am not sure what the job entails, but I start training on Tuesday and it is only for a month, so yeah, good day all round.

DIFFERANCE IN WHO I WRITE FOR

Last night was unbearably hot. I couldn’t sleep and while I was tossing and turning I realized something. I am amateur at writing! It is not a bad thing. Because I know why I say that.

Every aspiring writer has to answer one basic question. Who is your target audience?

What do I mean by that? Well simply stated, do you write for yourself or do you write to one day be a published author, thus writing for others?

I am an amateur writer because even though I have been writing for more than 10 years, I only started writing for other people, 1 year ago. All my previous work had been written by me—for me. I never intended for anybody else to read it and I surely never thought about ever publishing my work.

In December 2009 I finished writing the first draft of my first novel. I thought that it was good and that I wanted to publish it. My one sister insisted that I should think of pursuing publishing. I spent most of 2010 editing and writing up more drafts of the same book. I thought I was doing splendidly and when it was time for the querying process I learned how far I was off the pace.

When you write for yourself there are fewer rules. The only rule is to follow your own rules. Therefore, I always wrote long hand, thus, I never bothered to check spelling and grammar. I never needed to worry about the type of font or font size I was using. There was no need to know which genre I was writing for or who my target audience was. My goal was to write the stories I wanted to—how I wanted to—anyway I wanted to. So I guess I sacrificed a lot of technique and finer details in the end.

When I finally decided I wanted to write to be published, I thought I could get away with my previous approach of writing and as you know I didn’t. Writing novels fit for publication is hard. It basically pushes everything you did while writing for yourself, right out of the window.

Here are a few differences I noted:

I started writing my manuscripts on the computer.

I had to learn to add 1 inch margins to my entire manuscript.

Did I mention double spacing my manuscript for submission?

I had to know that I had to indent every first sentence of every paragraph ( go to Microsoft word—right click—go to paragraph—Go to indentation—Go to special and select first line).

I had to reintroduce myself to the rules of grammar and spelling.

I had to learn to edit and edit some more and when I thought I had edited enough, I had to edit again.

I had to learn more about the actual art of writing because till very recently I discovered I didn’t know much. I still have a problem with things like showing and telling, not to mention keeping in mind the different writing styles.

I had to learn to write a synopsis and query letter.


The good thing is that I now know what I did wrong before and I can make changes. I can seek out ways to improve my skill level of writing. That, I think, is the best part about life. You are consistently learning new things all the time. Everything is constantly changing.

I am even trying to find out more about publishing. I would like to educate myself. Before I just thought ''all I have to do is submit my novel, because surely someone will love it and then they will publish it! I will be a writer and I can live happily ever after.'' Man, was I wrong!

So basically, if you want to be published you have to abide by the rules of the publishing world. And basically everyone is looking for well written ( polished and ready to go to print as is) manuscripts.

And if you just want to write for yourself—not caring about all the publishing stuff...then good for you! Keep up what you are doing. Enjoy it and don't stop, not matter what.