UNFIT - WRITING STYLE

I cannot believe how hard it has become for me to keep up with my mind, when it comes to writing. There was a time where I could write for hours on end and possibly write thousands of words. Now, I am struggling to just write one page.

I think that I have become mentally unfit, if that is even possible. I have been writing a lot of short articles while freelancing, ranging from 150 words to 450 words, all about various non - fiction topics. I guess I have gotten out of practice when it comes to writing novels.

It is definitely time for me to get back into the swing of things because I have so much I want to write, but somehow, I am just unable to get it all down. My mind is even struggling to keep thinking for long periods of time, which is definitely worrying. But I am sure it is nothing that a little practice cannot fix.

I am starting to wonder if freelancing and fiction writers just don't mix.

THE THINGS I DO TO MYSELF

Yesterday I felt really frustrated that I was having a hard time getting another freelance job and I was antsy about the fact that I am still waiting for some responses from a few queries that I sent out,  so I decided to go do some gardening. Now I know what you are thinking, "Oh this cow is lazy, because she does not want to do a little bit of gardening". But, I should mention that we are terrible gardeners in my family and our entire garden is overgrown with weeds. It looks like jungle here.

Anyway, I was rather enthusiastically pulling the weeds until my dog decided to take a dump right in front of me. Never the less, I cleaned the mess and went on. While I was pulling the weeds enthusiastically, a few ideas for a story popped into my head and then I had a few new ideas, which are always fantastic. This morning when I got up however, there were parts of my body aching that I did not even knew possessed muscles. To make matters worse, I didn't finish cleaning up that one section of the yard yesterday, which meant that I had to do more gardening today. 

I am happy for the fact that keeping my hands occupied supplies me with great ideas, but getting rid of weeds are tough. I take my hat off to all you gardeners out there. You have a fantastic talent.

THAT IS JUST NICE

It is still cold and rainy here and I find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings. Why get up when your bed is so warm? After all, my dog makes a great cuddle toy.

Even though it is so cold, I got a lot of writing done on my second book today. My characters were very cooperative and even took me in a few new directions that I did not expect. Having said that, writing the second draft is always the hardest thing for me, because I have to make sense of the first draft, which I have written ages ago.

Anyway, the writing is going good and I am enjoying every moment.

GOOD DAY

It is raining here and I am sitting next to the fire, eating a home made cinnamon bun, which I must say, tastes better than any store bought one I have ever had. As I am enjoying the heat of the fire and the sweetness of the cinnamon bun, I am left thinking of what it is that I truly want to accomplish with my writing. Why is it that I completely stress myself out about not being able to publish my book?

I am just wondering if one day that I do get my book published, if I would finally be happy and the truth is, I don't know. In truth I never knew I could be good enough to have my work published until my sister told me to try. The idea that my work could be read and loved by others is just too much to pass up, honestly.

For now, I am just happy sitting by the fire and eating the rest of my cinnamon bun. I will let tomorrow worry about itself. All I can do is keep querying and hope someone thinks I am talented enough to help me achieve my dream of being published.

BEING GRATEFUL REALLY HELPS

I am actually enjoying the fact that my characters and I are finally communicating. So much so that they want the whole story to change, which just proves that they are serious divas.

I have really been struggling with a lot of stuff in my life and even though not everything is sorted out, I just woke up today and realized that I have so much to be grateful for. Yes, my life is a mess right now, but there are so many things and people that make my life worth living. You guys, all my blogging friends make it so worth it. Thank you for your support. 

Now that I am actually realising just how grateful I am, I find it a lot harder to sulk about anything else.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW...

Everyone that has been checking in on my blog these days will know that I have been in a pretty terrible mood. I have been really down and just depressed really. Well, that is just the state of mind I was in when I wrote my first book. I used writing to uplift my mood and when I got up this morning, I wanted to start the re-writes on my second book.

It was a lot easier for me to fall back into the writing process and to connect with the characters. I don’t know why there was a sudden shift in this mental/writers block thing that I have had for the past few months. Whatever made my character change their mind and come out and play again, I am grateful.

The first step I took was deleting three chapters that were not making the story exciting and it was making the story drag on a bit. Now I just have to keep up the progress. I guess eating breakfast everyday this week has definitely helped.

What is up or new with you?

INSECURITY IS NORMAL

I have found that insecurity is pretty normal and I cannot imagine one person living their life without having some type of insecurity. When it comes to being a writer, it is only fair that most of us worry about our work being good enough, or whether our writing peers would think of us as equals, or whether they would just flat out laugh at us.

My point being that I have so many writing insecurities, that there is not enough time for me to talk about all of them in this post. So if you know that you are struggling with some type of insecurity, instead of freaking out about it, own up to it and realize that it makes you unique and then try and find solutions for it. I tend to care too much about what other people will think of my work, that most times I drive myself crazy.

Just because you are insecure about something, does not mean that you are any less human or any less of a writer.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderful and talented author and blogger, Alex J. Cavanaugh. You guys can visit Alex over at http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com.