IT IS JUST ME

When it comes to writing, I am very self-conscious about everything that I write. Even though not all my blog posts reflect it, I read the content over and over to make sure everything is as it should be. Needless to say, I also fuss a lot about every single page that I write, when it comes to my novels. I guess that is probably why I never post excerpts of completed manuscripts.

The fact that I worry and obsess a lot about my work no longer bothers me as much, especially since I know that there are quite a few other writers who can relate. I just wish my family will stop reading over my shoulder as I type. It just causes me to freak out over this imperfect piece of work that still needs love, attention and plenty of editing.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderful and talented author and blogger, Alex J. Cavanaugh. You guys can visit Alex over at http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com.

THICKER SKIN - ALL AROUND

When it comes to pursuing your dreams, it can be a lot tougher than you first thought. The reason for it being tough is not always because things are different than you thought, but the loved ones that have to go through this difficult journey with you, does not always understand what you are going through or why.

When I say that they might not understand what you are going through, I am talking about them getting a bit negative about the reality of your current situation. Sometimes they may say or do things that discourage you and that can make doing what you want a whole lot harder.

I am not just writing this post from the comfort of my own home and my own desk, but I know what it is like first hand to have those you love most, doubt you and your potential, not to mention the logic of your dream. Just because they do not understand what it takes to achieve your dream, does not make you or your dream impossible.

I though about this post last night, because I always have this problem and if any of you out there have this problem too, then I want you to know you are not alone. You can do this. You just have to stay strong, as nothing worth having ever comes easy. Being a writer is always tough and I doubt it gets any easier the further your career progresses. 

UNFIT - WRITING STYLE

I cannot believe how hard it has become for me to keep up with my mind, when it comes to writing. There was a time where I could write for hours on end and possibly write thousands of words. Now, I am struggling to just write one page.

I think that I have become mentally unfit, if that is even possible. I have been writing a lot of short articles while freelancing, ranging from 150 words to 450 words, all about various non - fiction topics. I guess I have gotten out of practice when it comes to writing novels.

It is definitely time for me to get back into the swing of things because I have so much I want to write, but somehow, I am just unable to get it all down. My mind is even struggling to keep thinking for long periods of time, which is definitely worrying. But I am sure it is nothing that a little practice cannot fix.

I am starting to wonder if freelancing and fiction writers just don't mix.

THE THINGS I DO TO MYSELF

Yesterday I felt really frustrated that I was having a hard time getting another freelance job and I was antsy about the fact that I am still waiting for some responses from a few queries that I sent out,  so I decided to go do some gardening. Now I know what you are thinking, "Oh this cow is lazy, because she does not want to do a little bit of gardening". But, I should mention that we are terrible gardeners in my family and our entire garden is overgrown with weeds. It looks like jungle here.

Anyway, I was rather enthusiastically pulling the weeds until my dog decided to take a dump right in front of me. Never the less, I cleaned the mess and went on. While I was pulling the weeds enthusiastically, a few ideas for a story popped into my head and then I had a few new ideas, which are always fantastic. This morning when I got up however, there were parts of my body aching that I did not even knew possessed muscles. To make matters worse, I didn't finish cleaning up that one section of the yard yesterday, which meant that I had to do more gardening today. 

I am happy for the fact that keeping my hands occupied supplies me with great ideas, but getting rid of weeds are tough. I take my hat off to all you gardeners out there. You have a fantastic talent.

THAT IS JUST NICE

It is still cold and rainy here and I find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings. Why get up when your bed is so warm? After all, my dog makes a great cuddle toy.

Even though it is so cold, I got a lot of writing done on my second book today. My characters were very cooperative and even took me in a few new directions that I did not expect. Having said that, writing the second draft is always the hardest thing for me, because I have to make sense of the first draft, which I have written ages ago.

Anyway, the writing is going good and I am enjoying every moment.

GOOD DAY

It is raining here and I am sitting next to the fire, eating a home made cinnamon bun, which I must say, tastes better than any store bought one I have ever had. As I am enjoying the heat of the fire and the sweetness of the cinnamon bun, I am left thinking of what it is that I truly want to accomplish with my writing. Why is it that I completely stress myself out about not being able to publish my book?

I am just wondering if one day that I do get my book published, if I would finally be happy and the truth is, I don't know. In truth I never knew I could be good enough to have my work published until my sister told me to try. The idea that my work could be read and loved by others is just too much to pass up, honestly.

For now, I am just happy sitting by the fire and eating the rest of my cinnamon bun. I will let tomorrow worry about itself. All I can do is keep querying and hope someone thinks I am talented enough to help me achieve my dream of being published.

BEING GRATEFUL REALLY HELPS

I am actually enjoying the fact that my characters and I are finally communicating. So much so that they want the whole story to change, which just proves that they are serious divas.

I have really been struggling with a lot of stuff in my life and even though not everything is sorted out, I just woke up today and realized that I have so much to be grateful for. Yes, my life is a mess right now, but there are so many things and people that make my life worth living. You guys, all my blogging friends make it so worth it. Thank you for your support. 

Now that I am actually realising just how grateful I am, I find it a lot harder to sulk about anything else.