I HAVE JUST HAD ENOUGH

As most of you know I have been job hunting, but what you did not know was that I still kept my account with Elance. I was naive and hoping that my freelancing bad luck would change, but divine intervention definitely helped me change my mind. Yesterday I met a new client on Elance that wanted me to write articles for him and he was all polite and stuff, but I should have been more weary because I was not officially awarded the job yet.

He gave me all the information last night so that I could start writing and when I emailed him about where I should submit the work to, the guy gives me his personal email address instead of having me work through Elance. Keep in mind that all writing and payments and things should be done through Elance. So when I started asking about how my payment would work, he asks me for my PayPal number and when I mentioned that I don't use PayPal because all my payments go through Elance and that any payments to writers should be done through Elance, the guy emails me back with insults and rudeness, going on about how I was wasting his time and how I was not serious about wanting to work and how I would never find another job again and just being an all round horrible person. Of course he ranted on and on about how he no longer wanted me to work for him...

My point is that if he was not doing anything wrong, why not just answer my questions? Why did he have to be impolite like that, because no professional person acts like that. I of course reported the incident to Elance, because believe it or not, this is not the first time a client wanted to pay me outside Elance and of course that is a violation of the company policy. I have always only worked through Elance and this time was not going to be any different.

Now I am feeling that I have finally had enough of Elance and after this complaint has been settled, I am going to give up freelance writing for good and cancel my account with the company. I am not cut out to work with people. I know that. You guys have no idea how much this guy's emails have affected me and even though I am angry, I am also very hurt. I can now see that freelancing is not for me.

What other jobs are there where you do not have to work with people? Aside for you guys, I am loosing confidence in the rest of humanity.

SKIPPING A FEW STEPS

I had written up an editing strategy for my second book, but I must now admit that I deviated from it and printed out my manuscript regardless. I could not make anymore changes on the computer. My eyes were starting to hurt and I was overlooking obvious mistakes. So, I printed the manuscript a lot earlier than planned, after all, I already fixed most of the obvious mistakes. I am sure editing will be a lot easier with this method, though, I do feel guilty for using so much paper. But it had to be done.

LINKIN PARK ROCKS!

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. My sisters surprised me with tickets to the Linkin Park Concert in Cape Town and man, oh, man was it an experience! There were all kinds of people from different kinds of backgrounds, it did not matter, everyone united for this wonderful event.

 Cape Town Stadium

The Kongos were the opening act and did a fantastic job in creating the perfect musical vibe and even local Cape Town star Jack Parow made an appearance and instantly made the crowd take the enjoyment to another level. So when it was time for the main act, everyone was all revved up and ecstatic to see the band live and singing all the songs we love. They just so happen to be one of my favorite bands!

 View from Cape Town Stadium

It goes without saying that Linkin Park was absolutely and mind blowingly brilliant. I enjoyed myself so much that it was truly an experience I will never forget. My family and I sang along, we head banged when the music called for it and screamed when Chester, the lead singer instructed. I will even go so far as to say that this was the perfect experience to make me forget about all the bad ones the past few weeks.

My view of the stage

Sadly though, as we left we heard about a local advertising tower that had collapsed on top of several Linking Park fans, due to strong winds and that there were many fans injured and as far as I know, one lady died. My prayers and sympathy goes out to all the victims and their families. 

INSECURITY RAISES ITS UGLY HEAD

When it comes to insecurities, I have to admit I have plenty. It would be a lot easier listing the few things I am not insecure about, than to name all my insecurities, because let me tell you, we would be here for days. But I guess the biggest thing I have a problem with is that I do not know who I am without writing.

I am now in the process of job hunting, after working as a freelance writer (unsuccessfully). I loved freelancing. I got to work from home, work my own hours and I got to write, which is what I love. However, regular day jobs don’t have those perks and to be honest, I have become so accustomed to being my own boss, that I find it really hard to come to terms with doing yet another job I do not like. But, now that I will no longer be writing full time, I am really insecure. Not just as a person, but as a writer as well. I failed at finding regular clients and if my writing was so good, I should not have had a problem getting clients. Maybe I was and still am a terrible writer. Perhaps I am just a terrible person and I had it coming.

What I also liked about being a freelance writer was being able to say that I was a writer and that I had an income (not much), but now that I don’t have that anymore, who am I? I am just another aspiring writer trying to become published and who does not have a day job and who dreams big dreams. So I guess, I am just an insecure dreamer.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderful and talented author and blogger, Alex J. Cavanaugh. You guys can visit Alex over at http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com.

SHOPPING, ROUND TWO

I attended a party a few hours ago where I found out that quite a few of my cousins are writers in hiding. They write, but just don't tell anyone else about it, or let them read their work. It is great to meet fellow writers. I know it sounds really vain, but now I don't feel quite so special any more. My cousins are a lot better read than me and obviously their writing styles are a lot more sophisticated than mine, but hey, at least I do me very well.

So my mom and I went shopping again today and the exact same thing happened as last week, except that this guy was not as aggressive. I just gave him one look that I was sure said it all and he diverted his attention to my mom. My mom had a lot more composure, ignored the guy, closed her car door calmly and backed out of the parking space without giving the creep any thought. I admire her for it. She has so much more balls than I do. But I am just wondering, is it really too much to ask to not have strangers bother you? Is it too much to ask to not be harassed constantly? The life of a hermit never looked so good as it does right now.

Thank you for trying to break my bad luck streak Annalisa! You are just brilliant.

Job hunting is not going so good. My brother emailed me info about a job where I would be working weekends, public holidays and certain days of the week. I am not sure whether I want to offer up my weekends. I thought work is done during the week and then you rest on the weekends. I know it sounds really unreasonable, but if I need to work with people, then you can't take away my weekends. This might be shocking to you...but I am not good with people.

TOP COMMENTERS AWARD

I just received the Top Commenters award from the brilliant Annalisa Crawford over at http://annalisacrawford.blogspot.com, for commenting on her blog regularly. Thank you! The funny part is that she is also a regular commenter on my blog, so I should actually be passing the award on to her again.

I think this award is a nice way to start this week, it is rather positive actually. So, I now have to pass this award on to my top commenters and here you guys are...

Tonja - http://tonjasmusings.blogspot.com

Michelle - http://www.writer-in-transit.co.za/

The Golden Eagle - http://thegoldeneaglesblog.blogspot.com

M.J. Fifield - http://mjfifield.blogspot.com

I am going to do what Annalisa did and not notify the above mentioned people and see how long it takes for them to figure out that they have been given this award. It is a top commenters thing.

Thank you to everyone who stops by and reads my blog. You guys are what makes blogging great. I am especially thankful for all the comments, or else it would be very lonely over here. 

MY BAD LUCK CONTINUES

My mom, my oldest sister and I went to our local mall today to go and have some girl time, not to mention that I had to go out to buy printing paper for my manuscript. We shopped and of course my sister had already gotten most of the items she had came for when she and my mom suggested that we should go have breakfast in one of the restaurants. 

We were sitting, talking, ordering, when all of a sudden we notice people running out of the mall and restaurant. Of course we think someone must have been robbed or something  But no. It was a bomb scare! Of course I was not worried, because if someone had actually planted a bomb, they would not tell the police about it or warn the mall security. Bombers are mean like that. So we were evacuated and it was like a scene out of the movies. So, we had to go home and I did not buy what I had gone to the mall to buy in the first place and I was so upset yesterday that I hadn't bought the printing paper then either. My Karma must be seriously messed up. 

I think becoming a hermit is a good option considering my luck.