Out of balance today

After days of freaking out, I got the answer I wanted. I am going to continue as a sole proprietor and worry about each obstacle as it comes my way. I tend to be one of those people that worry about everything all the time and drive all those around me crazy. Thank you to my blogger friends for your wonderful support and advice.

With my rewriting I am going to take it page by page, instead of chapter by chapter. Hopefully that will stop me from procrastinating. My brother thinks I am delaying the self-editing process because I am afraid of failure in the long run and I think he might be right. Sometimes I wish I was a lot braver than I really am.

I have become a lot more of a hermit, but I can’t help it, I just prefer my own company and only leave the house to buy groceries. Avoiding huge amounts of human contact actually keeps me sane, believe it or not. Being amongst people irritates me and depresses me even more.

Certain days I think the depression medication is helping and other days I know it isn’t. Lately I have been feeling really low and getting out of bed has become a chore again. Most people know why they get depressed, I don’t. My hormones just get so out of whack that I patiently wait and pray that it will return to a reasonable level as soon as possible.

I would love to be one of those people who are enchanting and who always has something good to say, but I’m the exact opposite. My mom says I have been this depressing person since I was born. I know many of you would like a lot more interesting and vibrant posts, but I honestly don’t think it is in me right now. 

Hyperventilating today (IWSG)

When I started off the day I wasn’t feeling insecure about anything. In fact I felt good, as if I was on top of the world. Fast-forward a few more hours and I find myself hyperventilating. Why? Because I am trying to get things in place if I want to self-publish (next year hopefully).

That doesn’t sound so bad? Well, I never thought of me, self-publishing my work, as a small business. All businesses need a business plan and I did one in college as an assignment, but I have no idea how to do one now and then I have to think of what type of business I will be, an enterprise, LLC and so forth and then what will my business be named?

It is all getting so real and I have taken up the bad habit of procrastinating. My editing has slowed down too. Everytime I look at my manuscript I worry about sorting out all the tax info for my small business. I know this is really unrealistic and immature, but I thought I could just get my book ready and publish, ignoring the whole small business thing all together. Now there are so many other things to consider and I feel like I am in over my head. My problem is that I over think things sometimes.

How are you doing? Please, I hope you are doing much better than me, if not, I am sending you plenty of virtual hugs.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderfully talented Mr. Alex J Cavanaugh, so that writers can share the insecurities they have with each other and/or encourage others who need support with their insecurities. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.

I changed my email

Hey everyone. I simply wanted to mention that I had changed my email to mureesdup(at)gmail(dot)com. My Yahoo address will still work for a week or two, but then it will close. I have simply been receiving far too much spam at Yahoo.

I am sorry if it causes anyone any inconvenience.

Effigy by M.J. Fifield Cover Reveal

Congratulations M.J. You did it!

Release date: July 22, 2014 

Cover art by Ravven

Effigy Blurb:

The survival of a once-mighty kingdom rests in the hands of its young queen, Haleine Coileáin, as it slowly succumbs to an ancient evil fueled by her husband’s cruelty.

A sadistic man with a talent for torture and a taste for murder, he is determined to burn the land and all souls within. Haleine is determined to save her kingdom and, after a chance encounter, joins forces with the leader of the people’s rebellion. She gives him her support, soon followed by her heart.

Loving him is inadvertent but becomes as natural and necessary as breathing. She lies and steals on his behalf, doing anything she can to further their cause. She compromises beliefs held all her life, for what life will exist if evil prevails?

Her journey leads to a deceiving world of magic, monsters, and gods she never believed existed outside of myth. The deeper she goes, the more her soul is stripped away, but she continues on, desperate to see her quest complete. If she can bring her husband to ruin and save her people, any sacrifice is worth the price—even if it means her life.

About The Author:

Armed with a deep and lasting love of chocolate, purple pens, and medieval weaponry, M.J. Fifield is nothing if not a uniquely supplied insomniac. When she isn’t writing, she’s on the hunt for oversized baked goods or shiny new daggers. M.J. lives with a variety of furry creatures—mostly pets—in New Hampshire. Effigy is her first novel.

Links: Website // Blog // Add Effigy on Goodreads // Visit the cover artist 

The nerve of some people

Last night I took the dogs out to do their business and guess what I saw. I have this habit of looking up and down the street when I'm outside to make sure there are no dodgy people lurking about and when I look across the street, I see someone carrying off my neighbors gardening chairs. So I screamed at the culprit to startle him, or at least make him worry that I might call the police, but no. The guy kept walking as if he owned the chairs and started cussing at me for interrupting him. Can you believe that? I get that I might not look scary, but shouldn't the fact that he was caught stealing scare him a little?

Anyway, I didn't call the police. We live two streets away from an illegal squatter camp that has just popped up one day and all the criminals head straight for it (about less than a minutes walk away), because not even the police dares to go in there and by the time the police would have shown up, he would be gone. I should mention, this is the same creepy guy I have had trouble with in the past. For some strange reason the police never do anything about him. Before we know it he is back being a nuisance.

The thing about South Africa is that it is a great country filled mostly with wonderful people, but we do have a problem with crime and criminals have so many rights that protect them that the criminals have more freedom than the non-criminals do.

Another thing, last week some guy, I don't know, went off on me on Google+ because I commented on a quote someone else had posted about "A well read woman is a dangerous creature" and apparently the guy thinks I'm a lonely feminist that will never have anything more than an empty house, plants and dogs. All just because I said I loved that quote. What the hell? Anyway, I didn't respond, because I figured that guy just wanted someone to talk to and I was so not in the mood.

Our Beautiful Child is available now!

Congratulations Annalisa!

For no reason whatsoever, Annalisa thought it would be fun to answer some of the questions that Jackie magazine asked the stars of the day (the example she's found is from 1984 – and the victim was Johnny Marr from The Smiths). She will be answering one question on each of the random blogs taking part!

Question: Nickname?

Annalisa's answer: At school, I was called Olive Oyl and Mona (after Mona Lisa).

And my answer: There are so many, but my family called me chicken. At school the names were a lot meaner, like fatty and big boobs...the list goes on.

Our Beautiful Child is available right now! 

“The Boathouse collects misfits. Strange solitary creatures that yearn for contact with the outside world, but not too much. They sit, glass in hand, either staring at the table in front of them, or at some distant point on the horizon.” 

… so says the narrator of Our Beautiful Child. And he’s been around long enough to know.

People end up in this town almost by accident. Ella is running away from her nightmares, Sally is running away from the memories of previous boyfriends and Rona is running away from university. Each of them seek sanctuary in the 18th century pub, The Boathouse; but in fact, that’s where their troubles begin.

Ella finds love, a moment too late; Rona discovers a beautiful ability which needs refining before she gets hurt; and Sally meets the captivating Murray, who threatens to ruin everything.

Three women. Three stories. One pub.

Links: Website // Blog // Twitter // Facebook // Pinterest // Add to Goodreads// Author page on Amazon

You must believe (IWSG)

When it comes to reaching goals or fulfilling dreams, the most important aspect is that you have to believe in yourself. It doesn’t matter if your dream or goal is writing related or not. If you want to achieve something, you have to believe that you can do it. You have to have faith in yourself. If you can’t believe or trust yourself, you can’t expect others to.

I know this because I don’t always believe in myself. I don’t always have confidence in my dreams or goals and wonder if I am truly talented enough to do what needs to be done. I don’t always believe that I have what it takes to do what I want. But every now and then I get a reality check and the feeling of trust and belief in myself kicks me in the face and before I know it, I am my own number one fan and cheerleader.

I’m not always the most confident person, but if I can believe in myself, so can you. 

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the wonderfully talented Mr. Alex J Cavanaugh, so that writers can share the insecurities they have with each other and/or encourage others who need support with their insecurities. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.