Confidence (IWSG)

When I first started this blog, my writer's confidence was at an all time high and my personal confidence low. When I started this blog I thought I was a good writer and everyone would realize that I was talented. Well, not only didn't things pan out that way, I'm very happy it didn't.

Now I have more confidence as a woman and human, thanks to this great community. My writer's ego has gotten a few very worthy knocks of truth and perspective. I really needed that because I believe I am better for it. My writing confidence I can always work on, though I wish I had the imagination like when I first started. I had turned out three books in those first few blogging years and now I can't even get through my rewrites without regular naps and breaks. My point is, the reality and truth of how hard things are has set me on a better coarse. It didn't look so at first, but I am truly happy and my confidence in my writing is returning, but this time it is the good kind (promise). Nothing like a little humility to put things in perspective.

I am still and I think will always be insecure about my writing. My fault is that I still care too much about what my writing peers might think of my work. Will they hate my writing? Will they be embarrassed to have supported a fake/terrible writer (me) all these years? My writing confidence will always be a work in progress and for now...that is fine with me.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the talented Mr. Alex J. Cavanaugh so that writers can share their insecurities and/or encourage others who need support with their own. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.

Good Day and Food in Fiction

Today was a good day for me, even though it was 39 °C. I got a lot of data done, but there is such a long way to go. At least I have a good reason to push forward now, as this is the final year for my brother to finish his PhD. I’ve been doing his data for him (as my day job). So when all is said and done I can focus on my writing full-time, for a while at least (until I get another day job).

Has anyone ever thought about the topic of food in fictional writing? I recently did. My Thelum series is set in a fictional earth-like world. However, my characters still eat food found on earth. Why? Because when I started out my writing I didn’t want to use earth as a setting. I found it easier to create my own world than find my way in the current one.  It’s too late to change it now. My manuscript is already off to my editor. But it doesn’t stop me from thinking about these things.

How are you doing on this Monday? So, do you think it’s plausible to still eat pizza and pasta on another planet when we earthlings know pizza and pasta is associated with Italy? 

Back from holiday

Mom and I came back from our beach holiday last night. It felt wonderful to get away for a few days and not to do much else aside for sleep, eat and take long walks on the beach. Of course having so much quiet around made me feel inspired and I ended up rewriting 3 chapters while on holiday. It felt so great to have accomplished so much in just 4 days. I now feel ready for 2015.

Sorry I haven’t been around to lend support or comment this week. I will make up for it in the week to come, I hope. Thank you for the kind words with regards to my previous post. You guys save me just when I think I’m about to falter. 

I’m a real-life Gollum

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| gettyimages.com

The Lord of the Rings is definitely one of my favorite books and movies of all time. But lately I found that I’m a lot more like my least favorite character Gollum than I would like to be. I do sympathize with him, but I also want to strangle him. He has that eternal struggle with liking and hating himself. Where do I fit in? Well, I like myself. But then there are other days where I don’t, the depression drags me down and makes me feel like I’m an idiot for thinking I’m likeable. I’m actually the happiest I’ve ever been. I love my life and where I am, but I’m always struggling with the nasty depression monster.

Last week my depression medication got increased and I will always struggle, but unlike last year, I’m not just going to get into a little ball and pout. I’m writing and blogging now even though I don’t feel like it. Last year I didn’t want to blog when I wasn’t feeling my best. I watered down some of my posts as not to depress the blogosphere, but my blog is about what my life as a writer is like and I would like to stay true to that. Share the good and the bad. I apologize in advance if I will be posting things that my readers do not want to read, but I have to do this for me.

On the upside, my rewriting is coming along. The current scene requires a sense of happiness and positivity, which I have been struggling with, but music has really helped me get a better feel for certain scenes. I couldn’t imagine my life or writing without music. Also, can’t wait to see the Fifty Shades movie. Have any of you watched it yet? What did you think?

Have a great week everyone! 

One Good Catch Cover Reveal

Title: One Good Catch

Author: Heather M. Gardner

Genre: Contemporary Romantic Suspense

Publisher: InkSpell Publishing

Cover Design: Najla Qamber Designs

Release Date: March 13, 2015

~~~)(~~~

Ignoring a recent trauma that is affecting her everyday life, ER Doctor Kate Maguire engages in some high risk activities, but putting herself in these dangerous situations isn’t enough to feed her edginess. She needs something more. When her brother’s high school best friend comes back to town, it’s her chance for a ‘no strings attached’ fling with the man who still headlines in all her best dreams.

Rhys MacGrath’s days of one-night-stands are long over. The pro-football player might be side-lined at rehab for a shoulder injury, but that doesn’t mean he can’t admire and desire the all-grown-up, so-damn-hot, version of the tomboy he once knew. His sudden interest in Kate might be aggravating his best friend, who doesn’t approve, but it’s her indifference that’s driving Rhys crazy.

Everything heats up when Kate’s nosy nature sets her in the line of fire of an arsonist forcing them to deal with more than just the sparks igniting between them.

~~~)(~~~

Heather M. Gardner's love of books began on the hand-woven rugs of her small town library where her mother worked. There she had a never-ending supply of stories to read at her fingertips. As a teen, her favorite genres to curl up with were romance and mysteries. When she started to create her own stories, they were the perfect fit.

Heather resides in New York with her best friend who is also her husband, plus her talented and handsome son. She is currently owned by four stray cats. Heather's a full-time mom, works part-time from home, a chocolate enthusiast, coffee junkie, cat addict, book hoarder and fluent in sarcasm.

Blog: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Twitter: @hmgardner

Goodreads: HMGardner 

Facebook: HeatherWritesRomance Bottom of Form

Hectic

I’m so happy today. I finally had some cracker bread and it tasted good. We haven’t bought potatoes yet, but it is only a matter of time. Yay! So, this week started off pretty hectic, as I have a ton of data to process for my brother, which will probably keep me busy until next week. The funny thing about doing data is the unpredictability of your workload. You can have one slow day and then the next day you have so much data to do that it keeps you busy for weeks.

Now that I’m back to working on such a large workload, the creativity kicks in. I’m thinking up new story ideas when I’m supposed to be concentrating on numbers. But I’m not mad at my creative side. Instead I’m welcoming her back with open arms. After all, I had missed her. She was playing hard to get, the tease.

Speaking of creative, I've started with my first round of rewrites for book two. It is slow, but I want to make sure that I’m taking the story in the right direction. So far, so good. I am definitely getting the feel for the book and its different than book one, but I think it’s good. I haven’t started tackling the large problems yet, but I will be getting to it this week.

So, what are you up to? Do tell…

Creative drought (IWSG)

This month I’m feeling very nervous and insecure. Why? I haven’t felt creative in a long time. I used to feel pretty good about my creativity and now not so much. I haven’t had any new, fresh or fun ideas. Aside for a little rewriting here or there, I haven’t written anything new in months. I know I just need some inspiration. But I fear that maybe I’m not a creative person. Maybe my writing ideas aren’t that original at all. Or maybe my depression is just messing with my mind, because I agreed to do another week of banting. Why-oh-why? My family begged me to hang in there with them. So maybe everyone should just ignore my insecurity about my lack of creativity. I haven’t had a carbohydrate in over a week, so my mood is in the dumps. Man, would I love a burger.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the talented Mr. Alex J. Cavanaugh, so that writers can share their insecurities and/or encourage others who need support with their own. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.