Why do I do it to myself (?) and an award

Last week I was in work/ formatting hell, which was my own fault. Last week my brother gave me a large workload to complete before this week, because tomorrow, we are going to gather more data (insert eye roll here). So, I worked on the data during the day and my formatting during every other free time I had. I worked late very night, as expected. But what put me in hell wasn't the workload. Even though I knew exactly what I had to do with the formatting, I allowed insecurity and self-doubt to drive me to tears last week.

While formatting, I had an idea to look up some formatting articles and see what they had to say about formatting your book for print in Microsoft Word. Needless to say, most people were harsh. A few people even suggested that you can't get a professional looking book using MS Word. Well guess what? I was using MS Word and even bought two e-books perfectly explaining how to format my books in MS Word. Because I didn't have enough faith and belief in myself, I allowed all my hard work to come undone, because of what a few people suggested. I should have thicker skin by now, right? Wrong!

I didn't blog about my problem last week, because I didn't see why I had to infect the rest of the blogesphere with my negativity. And after many tears and sleepless nights, I made peace with the fact that I think my book looks good and that I didn't use any fancy software. Some people might feel I'm a disgrace to the self-publishing community, but I don't care. I'm happy with the final result. Having said that, I still haven't decided on a release date yet.

While I was losing my mind last week, Deanie Humphreys-Dunne awarded me with the Dragon's Loyalty Award. Thank you, Deanie! You are very kind.

The rules are:
Display the award logo on your blog.
Pass the award on to 15 deserving bloggers.
Let them know in a comment about nominating them.
Post 7 things about yourself.

My nominations
If you've left a comment on my blog this month, please feel free to accept this award. I don't pick favorites on my blog:)

7 Things about myself
I'm afraid of heights.
I could eat potatoes every day.
I don't like exercise, though my body probably needs it:)
I'm also not a lover of snakes, or anything reptilian.
I love music. I can't imagine life without music.
I used to be a ballet and modern dancer. (Contradicting myself on the whole exercise thing:)
I have a tattoo.

Meet R. Mac Wheeler

Hey everyone! Today I have the awesome R. Mac Wheeler on my blog. His writing is a well kept secret, (until now). I have read his Lycan Council series and really enjoyed it. Take it away, Mac. 

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Thank you, Murees, for inviting me over to meet your friends.

I thought the best way to introduce myself is through the worlds I’ve created in my multiple series. If one sounds interesting…drop by my author page. I’ve been known to share a free e-book. Click contact.

Paranormal-Urban Fantasy

Four-foot tall but full of vinegar, Caitlin Janecek totally hosed herself. A privileged
member of a secret society she has no interest in, Cait shared an overly-honest
opinion of her queen’s clan in her junior essay, which placed her under a magnifying glass. No more free time—she’s tracking vampires, battling hunters, integrating loose ghouls into the clan, acting the queen’s go-to gunslinger.

Carter McCown is a two hundred year old shifter. A wolf. A lone, wolf. Turned during the
Northern War of Aggression. He’s not very friendly. Downright antisocial. Hates politics. So he can’t imagine what propelled him into vampire Red Court business, embroiled him into the Lycan Council. But he’s making powerful enemies, even more powerful frenemies. The latter may be all that keeps him alive.

Suspense

A slacker, an autistic genius, two brawny bond jumpers—not the makeup for prolific soldiers against cartels. Definitely not blood brother material. When the shotguns blast,
the windows blow out, heads are bashed, no telling why the only one of the team hospital bound is always the laid back, designated driver.

Margarite is terribly average for parents who demanded superlative then left her an orphan. Her key asset is her six-foot height, and a love for the dojo. Her genius brother
created a super-bacteria and entangled her in a war against terrorists striving for global pandemic. If her shrinks can keep her mind in the game, she may survive.

Science Fiction

Toni is just over three feet tall. In the fourth millennium there’s no excuse for that not
being corrected in utero. An orphan, she grew up fast, tough, and smart. She designs ships that confound the brightest who say multiple FTL drives is impossible. She won’t share her specs. That paints a target on her back. But the wee sly one more than survives.

Other-world Fantasy

Justen is single-born—in a world of twins, one always male, one female, who share a
telepathic connection. Ostracized among other royals for his bizarre birth, half a soul, a single consciousness, he battles to be accepted. He is turning to arcane powers considered taboo, which further alienate him. But he’ll need those skills to survive the coming war.

High Fantasy

Ogre Ike is a gentle giant. One of the first in memory to bond with a dragon. He’d like
nothing more than to be left alone to his craft, but his village and clan propel him into leadership. To survive racial war, goblins, trolls, daemons, and orcs against the humans and little people, he must turn the mistrust to keep peace.

Again, thanks, Murees, for the forum. Meet me over at www.rmacwheeler.com. 

The dreaded writer's guilt (IWSG)

I read an interesting post/article by Colleen M. Story about writer's guilt recently and I truly connected with a lot she had to say. Especially the points she made about I don’t have enough to show for all the time I’ve spent and I don't write enough.

I often feel guilty for spending so much time and attention on my writing. Let's face it, when you've spent six years writing in every spare moment you have, most people want to know what you've written and whether you're successful and rich . . . yet. I tend not to care anymore. But then there's the other scenario. We tend to compare ourselves to other writers and their efforts and then the real guilt trip starts. We can be hard on ourselves and even mean. We start chastising ourselves. Asking questions like, why haven't I reached the success of writer/ blogger X? Why does X have all the luck? Why can't I be more like X? How does X fit in so much writing time and I can't?

The truth is, like I recently discovered, there's nothing wrong with me (my family might disagree), or you. We are all different and the same goes for our writing and the ways we create our art. Our processes differ and some of us might achieve success (insert your own personal concept of it here) sooner than the rest, but that's just how it goes. We have to stop feeling guilty because we don't measure up to other people's standards, when all we have to do is measure up to our own.

Let's not feel guilty because we write, or because we should be doing a hundred other things, aside for writing. Each of us brings something unique to the writing table and we should embrace that.

The Insecure Writers Support Group was created by the talented Mr. Alex J. Cavanaugh so that writers can share their insecurities and/or encourage others who need support with their own. You can visit Alex Here, or if you want to join us in discussing our insecurities on the first Wednesday of each month, you are welcome to join by going Here.

My first guest post (Why I chose to self-publish)

Today I'm over at Rachel's Ramblings doing my very first guest post about why I chose to self-publish. I'm so excited. Rachel is a very cool woman. I just adore her!

Feel free to stop by and check out the post:)  Thanks!

Losing my mind a little

Last night I felt a little crazy. Yes people, I do get a little crazy from time to time. Of course the type of things I loose my cool over might not be what the rest of you might think is acceptable.

Last night I was ready to catch up on blog comments and do some much needed research on self-publishing, when our Internet provider decided that I was not going to do any of it. Normally when I know the internet will be off, I finish things ahead of time and I guess I get my planning right. Last night, for no reason, the internet was off and I could feel my eyes twitch. But it's okay, I got a little reading done and got a few ideas for a book, so I guess it wasn't all bad.

I noticed that when I'm not connected to the internet, or have the temptation to check blogs, or other forms of social media, my concentration is better and I end up getting more things done. I know many bloggers have mentioned that social media can be addictive and a distraction, but I thought I would be immune to social media and other distractions. Well, I'm guilty of getting distracted rather easily.

These days I only check Twitter and Pinterest (which is now only for my personal use) regularly, and of course I check out what is going on in the blogging world (This is where I spend most of my time). I rarely use Facebook, Goodreads and Google+ these days. I prefer Twitter because I can just scan through my lists and know what everyone is up to, without giving up too much of my time. Also, I spend a lot of time reading and replying to emails. See, it's not that bad :)

How do you cope with social media? How much time do you spend using it?

I'm not lazy . . . all the time

Since Monday I had actually worked on how to create an e-book. I followed Misha Gerrick's advice and once I learned how to format my "practice manuscript", things started falling into place and the fear I once had about whether I could actually do my own formatting actually paid off.  Thank you, Misha!

I'm starting to think I can actually publish my book this year. But I'm leaving that thought there. I don't want to get ahead of myself, or jinx it.

Also, on the work front I am still battling those articles for my brother. I had to work with a headache all of yesterday, but I kept pushing on. It's just not in me to do a mediocre job of anything, aside for dieting of course. Okay, you got me, exercise too, but that's another story.

My dog is so much better now. He is back to his playful routine and waking me in the middle of the night every few hours to go do his business. That's unfortunately a side effect of the Addison's medication . . . It makes him drink a ton of water and then he wants to urinate more regularly. At least he goes outside less regularly now than before. Before, I barely slept during the night, because he had to go out so much. But having said that, I love my dog and wouldn't trade him for anything. He's perfect, Addison's and all.

Procrastination station

My manuscript is back with my editor for final edits and even though I should be self-editing my second book, I’m hiding from all things writing. I’ve never been one for procrastinating, but lately I have acquired the bad habit. Even if I don’t want to edit, I could be practicing my formatting, or even thinking, or working on marketing ideas for my book (The Amaranthine), which I still hope to publish this year. We shall see. I just have to be more productive. 

On the day-job front, my brother has handed me a flash disk containing thousands of scientific articles, which I have to catalogue and organize, to make it easier for him to find when he starts reading and referencing articles for his own PhD. At this point my eyes feel like they are throbbing in protest, but it has to get done before the end of the month. See, being a research assistant isn’t easy, even if you work from home.

On the annoyance front, certain extended family members have taken up the task of trying to find me a job, as they feel I’m not doing anything worthwhile with my life. Can you believe that? They don’t believe what I do for my brother is seen as work. My mom and siblings were just as upset as me when they found out. Without realizing it I am annoying people by working from home. Who Knew? Some people can be so nosy.

So, how is your Monday?