GOOD-BYE WRITERS DIGEST COMMUNITY

I am no longer a member of the writers digest community. It is a good site, but it is just not for me. I just visited it a few minutes ago and I simply didn't like how certain writers could just rip other writers work to shreds simply because their personal opinion of what is good or not, differs. Is it really necessary to disrespect someone else because they are different?

As you know I have enough crap in my life and the last thing I need, is being afraid to express my creativity because certain people know everything about everything.

All in all it is a good site if you need advice or want to make new friends. I am thankful, because if it wasn't for writers digest I would never have met Heather Garner. A fellow writer who's blog, http://hmgardner.blogspot.com/ (The waiting is the hardest part) and writing I just adore. And like me, she too struggles to become a professional writer. And thanks to Heather's blog I also met Leah Renee, http://leahonveggies.blogspot.com/ (Writing on veggies), another writer who is also very talented. Two very cool ladies I might add.

I recommend the writers digest site to anyone who wants to be part of a writing community or socially interact with other writers. Personally, I will just stick to my blog. It's not very popular, but it allows me to write, which is all I care about right now.

BAD EXPERIANCES PROVIDE GREAT INSPIRATION

I know this might sound insane but I am using all my negative energy and feelings and actually using it in my writing. Not to mention all my embarrassing stories might come in handy. My characters are going to need all kinds of depth and a whole wheel of emotions and who better then an over emotional person like me to provide them?

I am making notes of how I am feeling every day so that I can use it in my next book. Some good might as well come from my latest slump.

One memory that bothers me though, is the one of me, confessing my love to my college crush in a very well written email and then only finding out later, after I resent it a second time, that he is actually happily married and that he thinks I am insane. Not that he replied, no, my sister found out that he is married and thought she might put me out of my misery. The upside to that memory is that I wrote my first book and the the girl actually does get the guy in my book. She gets the happy ending I wanted, but I am actually glad I didn't get, because who knows if I would still have been writing if I was living happily ever after somewhere.

Yes, I might be unhappy about certain aspects of my life, but I can't let it get me down. I just can't. So why not use them? In the end I will have all the ass wholes to thank if my ideas actually turn out to be any good. In the long run, the meaner they are to me, the more inspiration they give me and in fact, they would just be fueling my creativity. So bring on the ass wholes, because I have a lot of books I still want to write.

Life goes on

I edited 2 chapters yesterday, which makes me happy. I got some good ideas for new projects, so I am just making notes of that. I am not doing any writing, but I am hoping to get back into the swing of things.

UNGRATEFUL

I am ashamed to say it, but I am the most ungrateful person in the world. I hate my job. It, along with most of my work colleagues, makes me absolutely miserable. I tried just taking it easy and not stressing but they truly upset me today.

I know how many people are unemployed in my country and how lucky I am to be employed. Still, I am not happy. I tried just doing my job to the best of my abilities and not getting caught up in the drama, but still my best is just not good enough. I came so close to telling them to shove their job there where the sun don't shine.

My family is rightfully, giving me a lot of crap. My mom doesn't like the fact that I seem to be unable to work for a boss. I can work for a boss, what I cant do is work with people that all think that they are my boss and that they are entitled to treat me like crap just because they can.

My family thinks that I am making all of this up so that I can stay home and just write. Which is not the truth. I have told them before that I have a problem working with people and they just laughed at me. I don't think being a receptionist/switchboard operator is the best job for someone who can't handle people.

I had a great idea for a post this morning, about what you can do to feel better when you are down on your luck. However, I cant publish it now considering that I would be a hypocrite. I don't feel like being rational at the moment and the last think I want to do is write about something that isn't true. So me, suggesting to other people to relax and not taking my own advice, would be severely hypocritical.

WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?

Can you guys believe it is August? It seems as if the year has just flown by. In about 4 months time it is going to be Christmas again.

I personally still have a few goals for this year that I haven't yet accomplished. I still need to fully edit my first manuscript and I still need to lose a few more kilograms. But hell. If I don't do it then it is not the end of the world. I have to stop being a control freak.

We baked all sorts of goodies for my sister yesterday and today I feel sick. I didn't even indulge. Just the taste of one piece of cake was enough to make me sick. I think I might be allergic to sugar, if that is even possible. I enjoyed a glass or two of coke and it tasted awesome.

Tomorrow is week four at work. I can't believe I have been working there so long. I guess that is a good thing. It is really weird how fast time has passed.

REST

I took it easy. I didn't write or edit today. I got some very good advice from a fellow aspiring writer, suggesting I take a break and I did so. Thank you very much for the great advice as always.

I spent some good quality time with the family, all of us talking again-at last. My sister is buying herself another computer soon. Meaning the four of us will no longer be sharing one, so I don't have to wait for them to finish their stuff in order for me to write.

I did a ton of baking today for my sisters birthday. I actually surprised myself at how good I can be at baking. Must say, after making all the goodies I am not looking forward to eating any of it.

TWO DIFFERENT LIVES

At day I am just me.
Boring, plain and restrained.
I am forced to smile.
Even when I want to cry.

But at night,
I am completely different.
I am happy, talented and free.
I even smile because I want too.

I dread when the morning comes near.
The bright beautiful day,
a symbol of my restraints

Welcome is the sight of twilight,
signaling that my real life,
is about to begin.

This is a poem I wrote about how I juggle two different lives. During the day I am the receptionist and during the night I am an aspiring writer. However, I never stop wanting to write. During the day I just pretend to be someone else for 8 hours.