PROGRESS REPORT

Today was one of my very bad days. Things at work were just stressful and horrible. I nearly quit but I reminded myself that I needed the income.

My editing is going very slow. I have about 200 pages left to edit. That is without the changes my friend had suggested. But so far I am happy with my novel. But when I am done editing I will give it to my oldest sister to proofread. She loves her romance novels and she is very honest and extremely critical of any new writers in that category. She will definitely tell me if it is crap. She has been reading every type of romance novel available for the past 32 years. So I think her opinion, from a readers perspective, will be very valuable.

Made a list of possible agents I want to query, today. I am still doing my research regarding the various agents. I am working on my query letter and synopsis in the mean time as well.

Slowly but surely I am making progress.

ANOTHER AUTHOR TO ADD TO MY FAVORITE LIST

I discovered a new author (for me at least) last week, courtesy of my sisters varying taste in romance novels. You might already know and love her but I read her one book "Darkest Night'' and I just fell in love with Gena Showalter's style of writing as well as each and everyone of the Lords of the underworld.

So now I am reading as much of her novels as possible. The Lords of the Underworld series is exquisite. I just love it. Love it. Love it. I can't seem to get enough.

SUGAR

I have recently discovered my calming agent. That one thing that pulls me through one of those tough times, that makes me forget about all my troubles. Sugar.

Honestly. Whether it be a simple thing like a glass of coke, a bite of a chocolate bar or (pause for effect) A cupcake! Even frozen yogurt does the trick. I don't know how, I don't know why but it completely turns my mood right around.

Though I don't think eating to calm your nerves is the best thing to do. I am working on breathing techniques at the moment to deal with the stress, but if I want a quick fix, I just need to eat a sweet and I am relaxed.

Weird, I know. After my friends criticism of my novel I finally indulged on cupcakes and I felt better. And soon after that I convinced myself to accept the criticism and write it off as a way to develop a thicker skin. Because apparently you need one if you are even considering submitting your work to anyone.

But yeah, sugar. It is my friend and yet it is also my enemy. My brother always tells me ''A moment on the lips but forever on the hips''. Sad...But true.

BRING IT ON!

I am officially done sulking and pouting. I have made peace with the fact that my novel will need work and I am ready to make the changes.

Most importantly, I changed my attitude about the way how I view my novel and even though I don't welcome criticism, I am ready for it and require it.

So bring it on!

DISGRUNTLED

I am just going to come out and say it. I am a hypocrite!

I have told many writers to keep at their craft and to believe in their novels and their ideas but when I got some serious criticism myself I wasn't feeling so positive anymore. I am pretty upset but I am not thinking of quiting writing or anything. I am just pondering whether or not I should make the suggested changes to my novel.

Yet it is a whole different story when someone criticizes your book like that. I would like to apologize to all my fellow writers that I had given comments to. I now understand what you went through and I apologize for any obnoxious comments I might have made.

I am still in a state of shock though. Here I was worrying about spelling mistakes and overuse of commas and then Bam! Someone drops a bomb on you and suggests rewriting.

I was so upset that I finally ate that damn cupcake I have been craving for ages and it was fantastic! So I had another one. OOPS!

WRITING AND LIFE

As I was sitting at my work desk pondering the complexities of life (yeah right) I thought about the life of an aspiring writer. Not exactly how our lives unfold thanks to our writing aspirations but the actual way we live our lives. How much of our life is dedicated to writing and how much of our life is dedicated to everything else?

I use to play guitar, but I never play anymore. If I'm not working I write or edit. I don't really make time for anything else anymore but I suppose that I should. I have a little obsession with reading writer Biographies and I noticed that some writers like Christine Feehan have a lot going on in their lives besides writing. Now for those of you who know about Christine Feehan knows that she has published over 40 books in the last 11 years while taking care of her family of 12 and still obtaining her black belt in martial arts.

I know that a lot of us say that being a writer is who we are, I am one of them. But does that mean we shouldn't do other things with our lives too? Or does it mean for us to find a balance between everything? That writing is just another dimension to our life?

I know I have complained about my job a lot but maybe it is a good thing that I have two different lives entirely. Because at what part of my life do I say this is the writer part of me and this is who I really am when I am not writing? To walk around with a writers mentality 24/7 can be overwhelming and exhausting.

ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS

I actually did a lot of editing tonight and during the editing process I realised what an emotional drama queen I am. Just a few days ago I was complaining about how bad my editing was going and today I found it a lot easier to do.

I don't know about my fellow writers but I think this whole writing journey feels like one big emotional roller coaster. Some days I feel as if everything is going well for me and other days I feel as if the universe is against me. My emotional state constantly varying.

What ever mood I am in determines how my story progresses. Which at times provides me with very interesting twists and turns. So all in all my crazy roller coaster of emotions comes in handy every so often.

Only setback is that sometimes your creative turmoil starts to show in your work. I had a few chapters where I could immediately pick up where my writing was more sloppy then the previous chapters. I knew when I wrote it I wasn't feeling very happy but I didn't think it would have an effect on my writing, until it came to the editing phase. Now I can see how I felt on which day because it is definitely showing in my book. But most of it is fixed now. Thank goodness.

I am off to bed to get a good nights rest. Happy writing everybody!